ORD LOH. ord loh.

life is too short la.

i think a part of me has been torn out in the way such that it'll never heal fully. how bout you.

FUCK.

music is not worship.

whilst that statement by tany is true, i would like to be able to serve in music for the worship ministry. i actually told eddie that i wanted to learn drums, but months have passed and i haven't started on it yet. procrastination is the culprit. i'm sorry eddie. now, i have this interest in learning the keyboard/ synthesizer. am i fickled-minded or what? i hope that i'm willing to give up my time to God to learn these instruments and also that my piano background would help me.

saying all these, i know i have to draw closer to God. without Him, everything crumbles.

i feel so screwed up. God help.

wow! so i am actually left with less than 2 months of liability/service whatever you call it. it feels so fast, especially the time after the training phase.

today has been a eventful and meaningful day. woke up early to attend JYC anniversary and i must say, i was touched by how the JYCers love God and love each other. Growing up this way is THE way to go man. Three years of learning how to honour, love and respect each other, at the same time forming bonds/relationships that will last a lifetime. i wanna really give credit to the leaders for pouring out so much of their lives for the younger ones and pray that their efforts be rewarded.

had lunch at level six and did connection duty during service. went back for acupuncture and dinner with bianca's family and on to jem's place. my gosh, the manchester derby was super exciting la! it should have been a draw la pls.

came home after that and dotaed.

i thank God for church, and the friends from it.

Grow old along with me! The best is yet to be!

thailand has been great. it's a trip packed with so many activities, quite tiring but very fun nevertheless. visited many places and ate lots of food. didnt bring a camera but photos taken by the others are on facebook.

errr, I'm back here taking a break from facebook. Fb has done so much damage to my blogging desire. Today I just wanna write about how I agree with what a certain someone had said a few days ago. I want to be comfortable with myself, knowing my strengths and weaknesses and accept them. But then again, shouldn't we be improving on what we are weak at? Hmm. Maybe it's just quite tiring to do that. Right, let me know myself and be comfortable with it.

Anyway, epicurious breakfast was awesome and how I wish sfi serves the same menu at that quality. Wishful thinking on my part.

From the iPhone,
Nathan

i'm really looking forward to december. day trip to malaysia with army friends, 2 nights there again with family, yc teens camp and christmas.

the question i hate answering most is "which uni are you going to?".

hi

hello

in the organization that i am in, i think there will be nothing much to write about due to the monotonous duties that we perform. like what x said, our brains are not being used much here and unless we do things to improve ourselves, we rot. it suddenly strucked me today that i am almost finishing one year of my duty, and how much actually have i changed for the better, or grow? i think i am growing further away from Him and i know more needs to be done. if i am going to spend 2 years of my life here, why don't i spend it to the fullest? spread the good news and be the light, salt whatever.

i need to do better.

6 months of sabbatical.

i can't help but keep asking myself what it'll be like if i had worked harder during my two years in jc. i can't help but keep blaming on my environment. i can't help but keep having thoughts that i'm not good enough. i can't help. i can't help anything now. i can only trust God and trust God.

buddy kian wee has bought gossip girls. invoking my interest again.

standing at the parade with FBO right after a 28km walk is a real test. a platoon best from some company collapsed halfway and blood was seen coming down from his head when he was stretchered past. it's amazing how some sergeants can still smile when it happened. 

anyway, getting best pt is a blessing. however the fact of not crossing over due to just 0.2 points is disturbing me a bit still. and now, im sent over to stagmont camp signals. hope it'll be a good time there haha. and my motto hasnt changed. to do my best in everything, not necessary be the best, but my best. 

coporal loh! echo all the way.

it's not that this new phase of training is shiong, but i'm really missing home badly. on top of missing home, i got 2 injuries bugging me. had four days of status during the first week of training, that's like more than half the week. it's the knee and upper back. but i'm glad that they prayed for me in church just now. 

may i do my best in army, excel in it, be real and sincere. let's all do just this.

i'm glad you're coming back soon. see you on saturday hopefully.

wow it's nine weeks since i updated and it's pop day soon. 

today's a big day.

the camp was awesome! it has taught me how to face my struggles. really. 

im His son.

somet imes i feel so inadequate in loving people. like as if i dont know how to build a close relationship with a person. many of things i could do is to say hello, comment something funny or whatever. i think i am insecure, maybe that's what you will think when you read this. but i DO feel jealous of others and of the relationships they have with people. im trying so hard to write christmas cards that would make other feel warm and blessed, i am really trying very hard. 

whatever it is, i am writing cards. i am gonna do with whatever i have to bless others.